Saturday 17 May 2014

If only I could type up my conversations

Words are strange things.

When I'm sitting at my desk, fingers on the keyboard, it's like they're my best friends. I play with them, arranging and rearranging them in all sorts of interesting ways, till what I have is a story.

I think as a writer I'm not too bad. Maybe not to everybody's taste, but not too bad all the same. Within the context of writing, words and I seem to have a pretty good thing going.

But we don't always get on quite so well.

There are other situations where it's as if words don't like me at all. It's as if they exist solely to play tricks on me, and to trip me up. Those situations usually occur whenever I talk.

I'm absolutely terrible when it comes to talking. I open my mouth and I have no idea what is about to come out. In my mind, I have a perfect idea of what I want to say, but by the time the words are out, they often bear little resemblance to my original ideas. Other times, the word I want to say decides to disappear from my mind, leaving me tongue-tied and looking ridiculous. Sometimes, all that comes out is a garbled mess. At another times, nothing comes out at all. I just stand there, going "um, er, arrr," and various other unintelligible noises.

It's a real frustration, I can tell you. What is it about words that gives them such a Jekyll and Hyde personality, one minute so friendly and helpful and the next minute utter little devils? Whatever it is, it doesn't seem to be anything I've got any control over. Which, as a writer, is the biggest frustration of all.

I wish talking was more like writing. I wish, with every conversation I was involved with, I could take my time to craft the words I wanted to say. Maybe give them several drafts, as well as a final proof before I send them out into the world.

Seems like a nice dream, but I guess I'm stuck with reality. Time to get back to my computer, where I can get the words to do exactly what I want them to. And if you have something to say to me, I'm afraid the best I can manage in reply is "um, er, arrrr."